As we approach the third year of the COVID-19 pandemic, “so many people are sad, irritable, emotionally exhausted, having trouble concentrating,” Chris Barushak, vice president of process improvement and sustainability at Batesville Casket Co., explained during the webinar, “Servant Leadership: Caring for the Caregiver,” part of the Batesville Education Series.
Yes, the COVID crisis, with the high mortality rate, has taken a toll on everyone, Barushak acknowledged, but he termed the ensuing emotional toll, particularly on caregivers, the “other” COVID-19 crisis. He pointed to the “staggering numbers” from a Qualtrics survey that further explained how people have been feeling throughout this crisis:
• 42% have experienced a decline in mental health.
• 67% are experiencing increases in stress levels.
• 57% have increased anxiety and 54% are emotionally exhausted.
• 53% are sad, 50% are irritable.
• 28% are having trouble concentrating.
• 12% are challenged to juggle their responsibilities.
“These are some of the things that all of us in today’s world – loved ones, friends, colleagues – are feeling,” he said, “and then, on top of that, for the caregiver, a grieving family calls and needs your help.” As a caregiver in the funeral industry, it’s important to know and ask yourself, “Who are you serving?” Baru-shak said. “On the one hand, the grieving family is who your business is focused on delivering value for. However, as a caregiver you also have to care about the growth, development and emotional stability of your employees.”
Particularly now, the principles of servant leadership – caring for your customers, clients and employees – can greatly benefit the funeral service professional, Barushak said. “This is really about teaching and guiding as you serve. Remember, the customer pays but you work for them – that’s the servant leader mindset. Remember, they chose you because they trust you to take care of them and the details.”
“Servant leadership really shouldn’t be confused with servitude, which has a very negative connotation,” Barushak said. “That’s not what this is about. Having a servant heart is really about placing others needs first before your own: Who are you serving? ‘How can you best serve?’ is the real fundamental question.”
The servant leader principles are the basis of John C. Maxwell’s book, “The Right to Lead: Learning Leadership Through Character and Courage.”
The book was a mandatory read when he was a nuclear aircraft and weapons maintenance officer in the United States Air Force, Barushak said.
Maxwell espouses the following principles of servant leadership in his book:
It’s the cumulative effect of following principles one through six that gives the seventh principle – give your power away – “its most powerful value,” Barushak said.
Servant leadership is all about “empowering people to become something bigger than what they ever thought they would be,” Barushak said. “As a servant leader, you’re meant to be a river, not a reservoir.” Following these servant leadership principles will not only make you a great leader but will impact “your legacy moving forward,” he added.
For funeral service professionals, Barushak further explained the importance of building positive relationships with families and with your employees. “Servant leadership is about giving people things they need, not necessarily what they actually want at that particular moment in time.
“I believe the strength of any relationship rests on a foundation of excellent listening skills. We have two ears and one mouth, and we should use that to our advantage. When I was in basic training, that was what my drill instructor pounded into my head every single day,” he said.
In terms of building a positive relationship for your families, this begins at the start of your “value chain process – home removal, potentially house call, the arrangement conference, the ceremony itself, burial, maybe it’s cremation or maybe it’s cremation and burial,” Barushak said.
These are all opportunities not only to show your “superb industry excellence but to capitalize on building a bond of trust and some personal steps in the grieving process which ultimately lead to sharing their loved ones’ personal story,” Barushak said. “So, in building that positive relationship, it first starts with earning the right to lead them, earning the right to their trust.”
Trust building begins with empathizing and listening to your families. “Sometimes even simple questions go a really long way: ‘Tell me about your mom.’ ‘Tell me about your father.’ ‘What did your stepmother go by?’ ‘Did your loved one serve our country?’ ‘Did they serve the community?’ And just let the information flow from there,” Barushak said.
Empathizing and unlocking those hidden needs, such as recognizing and personalizing someone’s life after death, might just be what’s required to help them in the grieving process and provide them “a better
level of comfort, getting them where they need to be,” he said.
“When you help the families during the grieving process, this helps them in ways they can’t understand at the time. When you do this, it comes with a deep sense of accomplishment for them – of doing something right, doing something noble. It’s connecting that personalization to help the family share their story in every aspect. Communication is key through the entire process – the home removal, the arrangement planning, helping them create a servant that tells their story.”
Leaders in funeral service need to remember, “You’re the expert here, and sometimes you have to think outside the box,” Barushak said. For example, many people are not aware that there can still be a service with cremation, he pointed out, and by suggesting a service along with cremation, “it will allow love and grief to be shared and enrich the living. They actually become better people because of what you have provided for them … they’ll become better people than they thought they could ever be.”
When you follow these servant leader principles, “your families, your employees – they’ll actually start looking out for you – the caregiver,” Barushak said. “They will take into account your best interests and make you look good.”
A servant leader, however, needs to take a step deeper with employees and this means listening to them, “observing their work – not to criticize but to understand the obstacles they face. Are they facing problems inside their work? Are they missing key training? Are they missing key tools that they need to be successful?” Barushak added.
With employees, the real growth with servant leader principles comes when employees are put in charge, he said: “How would they change your business to make things better? How would they change to serve the customer better? If it takes them an hour to do stuff, what are their ideas to cut that time in half? Are you setting the example every day with your vision and direction for every single action, every single day?” And over time, that respect for the employee “actually makes your business faster; it makes it more efficient,” he said.
Being a successful servant leader “requires you to create an environment of culture, openness, transparency and creativity. This means … you must be willing to let go. You might have to overcome your own fear, your own insecurities of becoming possibly obsolete or not needed. Rather, when you do this, the reach, the implication, the impact you have for people will be far beyond what you can possibly imagine,” Barushak said. “This actually drives balance and more freedom and security for you to do other parts of the business that maybe you felt at the time you don’t have time for but I think more importantly for your customers this starts with your legacy. What type of legacy do you really want to leave behind? What will you be remembered by?”
An important thing to remember is that building positive relationships with your employees takes self-sacrifice, Barushak said. In other words, “You can’t care about someone that you truly don’t know, so when your employees are speaking to you, are you truly listening? Or are you actively preparing your response?” he said. “This is really, really important.” Empathizing with your employees is key, he said.
Leaders need to ask themselves, “Are we encouraging professional and personal growth? Are we building a learning environment or one that punishes when a mistake is made?” Barushak said, “Building empowerment into your team builds confidence … ultimately your employees start taking care of you, they start taking care of your customers.”
This article, first published in the April 28, 2022 edition of Funeral Service Insider, was written by Lynn Cavahaugh, editor. The article is posted on this website with permission from Kates-Boylston Publications. To subscribe, please visit katesboylston.com/fsisubscribe.
